Golly gee whiz Mister, however did this happen?
The answer is: bacon and eggs. I sit here eating a lovely fry up at twenty to six, and I am not complaining.
Right, well away from the tangent that I inevitably (and confusingly) start on, I implore you all to send me your copies of Prototype.
It's not that I really want this game, it's just that LOVEFiLM has sent me Just Cause instead, which is not a bad thing per se but I was planning on writing a quick review for you all on how the game is. Because that's what my self proclaimed job is now, reviewer. Instead of some interactive mutant madness, I will instead leave you with a quick glance over Transformers.
It was shit.
I liked the first one, it was OK, not the best film in the world, but it did it's job at entertaining. Now, I'm not going to give you a complete run down of the events of the film, at risk of repeating already said material. Basically if you like explosions shoved down your throat every second, slow motion boob running and cheap testicle jokes, this film is for you. If you like a compelling storyline, twist and turns around every corner and the kind of humor only someone with a monocle can understand, stay away. Michael Bay seems to not understand that 'less is more' when it comes to things like explosions and closeup shots. I'm being serious, I do not think that the film has more than 10 minutes in it where there isn't a single explosion. The man went mad. I didn't stay behind after for the credits, but I'm pretty sure that the number of compositors working on the explosions alone must have doubled the crew list and then some.
Needless to say, this is more so something you should watch drunk and when it comes out on DVD in several years time when it's in the bargain bin.
Hey, I'm not saying don't watch it!
Also I would like to add that I would play D&D with inferno if he pays for the equipment and has truthfully come up with that world of sentient trees he mentioned.
Monday, 13 July 2009
Sunday, 12 July 2009
Primetime < Clobberin' Time
What the hell are you doing here? You know there's a war on, right?
I played in the very first UK edition of 1 vs 100 on Xbox Live primetime. I went in knowing that this, like PlayStation home, is a product intended for an audience who are the collective antithesis of myself, but like any good nerd, I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to complain about something.
I'm not going to explain the fundamentals of the game, if you aren't in the know and would like to amend that status wikipedia is more than willing to fill you in. The game was fun enough for half an hour, but I couldn't bring myself to sit through all three hours, especially not with the Battlefield 1943 community challenge starting at the same time. There seemed to be some form of glitch when I was playing that caused me to be unable to hear the games' live host as I played with the exception of the first five minutes of play, after which he turned mute, and I was unable glean any information from my attempts at lip reading his avatar.
Also nine tenths of the questions require no knowledge whatsoever, and can be deduced by simple guess work. If I can answer a football question on your quiz correctly, your quiz is too easy. Finally I never got to be the one or part of the mob, this is 1 vs 100s' greatest folly, for which it cannot be forgiven.
A little while ago a made a not so subtle hint that I wanted to try Magic and D&D, it appears that a couple of people took this is a challenge and declared that if I could concoct a story set in a world ruled by trees then they would gladly play the latter. I haven't got round to asking if they would seriously do this, because my mind has managed to synthesize such a world, a world were mortal men such as you and I toil away in subservience to ever unpleasable sentient saplings. And a mind flayer. Minds must always be flayed, my brothers.
I played in the very first UK edition of 1 vs 100 on Xbox Live primetime. I went in knowing that this, like PlayStation home, is a product intended for an audience who are the collective antithesis of myself, but like any good nerd, I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to complain about something.
I'm not going to explain the fundamentals of the game, if you aren't in the know and would like to amend that status wikipedia is more than willing to fill you in. The game was fun enough for half an hour, but I couldn't bring myself to sit through all three hours, especially not with the Battlefield 1943 community challenge starting at the same time. There seemed to be some form of glitch when I was playing that caused me to be unable to hear the games' live host as I played with the exception of the first five minutes of play, after which he turned mute, and I was unable glean any information from my attempts at lip reading his avatar.
Also nine tenths of the questions require no knowledge whatsoever, and can be deduced by simple guess work. If I can answer a football question on your quiz correctly, your quiz is too easy. Finally I never got to be the one or part of the mob, this is 1 vs 100s' greatest folly, for which it cannot be forgiven.
A little while ago a made a not so subtle hint that I wanted to try Magic and D&D, it appears that a couple of people took this is a challenge and declared that if I could concoct a story set in a world ruled by trees then they would gladly play the latter. I haven't got round to asking if they would seriously do this, because my mind has managed to synthesize such a world, a world were mortal men such as you and I toil away in subservience to ever unpleasable sentient saplings. And a mind flayer. Minds must always be flayed, my brothers.
Friday, 26 June 2009
Where the Time Went
Two of your flesh mortal months ago I mentioned that much of my time was being siphoned away by some delicious but unnameable force. It appears that recently that force has revealed itself to the world.
I am to Battlefield Heroes what a pig is to mud, the devout consumer. I've been sampling this game at regular intervals for months now, alone and friendless, but now we may all bask in its' glory together. The full release version of the game has been slightly nerfed from the beta version though, I especially missed the "Get cash items for free" feature, that was a personal favorite.
Really, I'd recommend everyone to try it out, remember to add IcedInferno* to your friends list. Hey, why not? It is free.
To make me seem like a little less of a fanboy I'll concede that there a few foibles here and there that I am contractually obliged to present:
*I'm not sure if the friends list goes on character or account names, if it is the former add Georgefrey instead
I am to Battlefield Heroes what a pig is to mud, the devout consumer. I've been sampling this game at regular intervals for months now, alone and friendless, but now we may all bask in its' glory together. The full release version of the game has been slightly nerfed from the beta version though, I especially missed the "Get cash items for free" feature, that was a personal favorite.
Really, I'd recommend everyone to try it out, remember to add IcedInferno* to your friends list. Hey, why not? It is free.
To make me seem like a little less of a fanboy I'll concede that there a few foibles here and there that I am contractually obliged to present:
- Purchased weapons and items last for either a week or a month, no permanent unlocks
- At least in Vista the games' launcher can be very temperamental
- The team I'm playing on generally starts losing when I join
- Royals always seem to lose (See point 3)
*I'm not sure if the friends list goes on character or account names, if it is the former add Georgefrey instead
Sunday, 21 June 2009
A Game of Cards
Sacred 2 arrived at my door a few days ago. In this post I had originally intended to inform all of you that I wasn't hooked on this game. It is good, do not misinterpret my words, but I could turn my console off without an intervention. Everything was cool, I was wandering around, a member of the nearly extinct race of cyborg Anubis tribute acts, fulfilling my destiny as a grisly envoy of the end with enthusiasm and vigor, but then it happened. A friend of mine, one of the ones who had touted this game as digital crack, encouraged me to create a new character so that we could play together, and do it from level one. From that moment onwards I started describing Sacred as addictive. Also, High Elves ftw.
The deeply intuitive among you may have tapped into the force and guessed that there is another heavily opinionated paragraph chambered and ready to fire. You may have also guessed that it is on a different subject. You may have guessed that it is about being able to play as Johnson in Halo ODST. If you guessed that last one, you guessed wrong.
Magic: Duels of the Planeswalkers is a game targeted directly at me, in fact if I look north at any time, I become blinded by the laser sight trained upon me. I am the kind of person who seeks to become a nerd in every way possible. Magic, like Dungeons and Dragons, is a game that I would whole heartedly like to sample, but due to a lack of friends willing to take the plunge with me, I haven't been able to. Duels of the planeswalkers emulates the willing friend fairly well, its' tutorial did an excellent job of explaining the game to me (although admittedly I have played multiple similar card games before, so I do have an advantage over regular newbies) and has delivered a satisfying, yet upsettingly short, roster of foes. The only thing missing is the ability to weave your own decks out of whole cloth, rather than just editing pre-made ones.
Still, if you've ever been curious about Magic: The Gathering I'd recommend this, but expect to have your arse handed you the first few plays, experienced Magic players will probably be underwhelmed though. Not that I'm an expert on Magic players.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go get molested by the love child of a sea urchin and mighty Cthulhu.
The deeply intuitive among you may have tapped into the force and guessed that there is another heavily opinionated paragraph chambered and ready to fire. You may have also guessed that it is on a different subject. You may have guessed that it is about being able to play as Johnson in Halo ODST. If you guessed that last one, you guessed wrong.
Magic: Duels of the Planeswalkers is a game targeted directly at me, in fact if I look north at any time, I become blinded by the laser sight trained upon me. I am the kind of person who seeks to become a nerd in every way possible. Magic, like Dungeons and Dragons, is a game that I would whole heartedly like to sample, but due to a lack of friends willing to take the plunge with me, I haven't been able to. Duels of the planeswalkers emulates the willing friend fairly well, its' tutorial did an excellent job of explaining the game to me (although admittedly I have played multiple similar card games before, so I do have an advantage over regular newbies) and has delivered a satisfying, yet upsettingly short, roster of foes. The only thing missing is the ability to weave your own decks out of whole cloth, rather than just editing pre-made ones.
Still, if you've ever been curious about Magic: The Gathering I'd recommend this, but expect to have your arse handed you the first few plays, experienced Magic players will probably be underwhelmed though. Not that I'm an expert on Magic players.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go get molested by the love child of a sea urchin and mighty Cthulhu.
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Hello
In keeping with Inferno's once a week policy, I am here to make a post that has nothing to do with the game.
And to make it bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky by copying and pasting.
:D oh, I really have nothing to say.
And to make it bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky bulky by copying and pasting.
:D oh, I really have nothing to say.
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